Puddin the Magnificent!

I don't like Joanna Lumley very much. She doesn't understand cats. She says we cannot be trained and makes it sound like we run around out of control.

I am The Tailless One because of a road accident which took away at least one of my lives and the vet wanted to take away the rest. My staff stood by me and I live today in harmony with them.

They don't want me to sit on laps unless invited - I don't by agreement.

They don't want me to sit on furniture - I don't by agreement although we do agree I may use a chair to get to my favourite spot on the window sill.

They don't want me to go upstairs - I don't by agreement although I will sit half way up when that horrid machine that makes all that noise and eats my hair from the carpet comes out and this is by concession.

They don't want me to bite people anymore - I don't by agreement and if I very occasionally forget I am reminded of our agreement and stop it again. I was a stray and survived by biting so surely the odd indiscretion can be forgiven?

They don't want me to yow for food every five minutes - but hey even I have to draw the line somewhere!